Baked beans
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0 0Baked Beans....
Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion
for baked beans. She loved them but
unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it
became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would
never go for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home
from work. Since she lived in the country she called
her husband and told him that she would be late
because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a
small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more
than
she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk,
she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by
the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the
diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three
large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving
home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for
dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her
to her chair at the table.
She seated herself and just as he was about to remove
the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
he returned. He then went to answer the
telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting
her and the pressure was becoming
almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her
weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
truck running over a skunk in front of
pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air
around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three
more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the
other room, she went on like this for another ten
minutes.
When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her
napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon
it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long, he
asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she
had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the
table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!! -
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