little johnny
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0 0Little Johnny is visiting his Granddad on the farm. He races into
the farmhouse and yells excitedly to his Granddad:
"Hey Granddad, the bull is fucking the cow".
Granddad informs Johnny that he won't tolerate this sort of
playground language on his farm and that in future if Johnny
wants to inform him about such things he should say something
like "Granddad the bull is surprising the cow."
A few weeks later Johnny is again visiting the farm. Once again
he comes racing in and yells:
"Granddad the bull is surprising the cows."
Granddad says to Johnny: "I'm pleased to hear that after my
conversation with you a few weeks ago you have cleaned up your
language. However, your grammar is not quite correct. It is not
"the bull is surprising the cows". It is "the bull is surprising
the cow". The bull can only surprise one cow at a time".
Johnny replies:
"No Granddad, the bull is surprising all the cows because he's
fucking the horse!" -
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.
